Blimp Rock is a venture capital band founded for the purpose of raising $700K for a concert on a blimp floating above Lake Ontario. The band is attempting to raise the funds through the selling of albums, vintage office equipment and bath products. Despite all these efforts, Blimp Rock’s funding total currently sits at $ -2138.
Blimp Rock Enterprises and Bath Products (BREaBP) is the name of our parent company. They put up the money and Blimp Rock spends it on making albums, thrift shopping for outdated office equipment and inserting download codes into bars of soap.
One of our favourite songwriters Andy Swan also makes soap. He inserted laminated download codes into the bars before they set. Now we have bars of soap with albums inside.
Yes and no. We are fully aware that our plans for a concert in a sky set us apart from other bands and are happy to take advantage of that. At the same time, if we end up raising the $700K we will do everything we can to get a blimp in the sky.
When we started this project, we were over $3000 in hole so $-2138 is actually closer than we’ve ever been. At our current pace, we should reach $700K between 2060-2075 (if the band lives that long.)
With current blimp technology, the maximum capacity for the concert will be approximately 24 people. Blimp Rock has lots of experience providing entertainment to groups of this size.
Name of Event: Blimp Rock Live
Projected Date: August 1, 2075
Capacity: ~24 depending on weight of bass amp
Location: Blimp will be docked onto the Lifeguard chair at Sunnyside beach in Toronto, ON. Use ladder to board.
18:00 - Members of press, cover bands, blimp staff arrive
18:16 - Staff to switch off phones in case insurance company calls
18:20 - Photo op. on wood paneling print carpet
18:30 - Gondola doors open
18:55 - Final boarding call
19:00 - Launch: Blimp Rock Live has begun
19:10 - Ariel Sharatt + Mathias Kom of The Burning Hell review safety protocols in the form of a duet called "Don't Believe In The Hindenberg"
19:15 - Members of press + cover artists play quick game of Headbanz to ease the collective feeling of anxiety brought on by tight space
19:30 - Tom Waits reads his favourite Robert Munsch books*
20:15 - Courtly Love performance (Shakesperian interpretations of the 90s grunge band Hole)
20:45 - Last call for fancy mix drinks (ice in cooler will have melted by this point)
21:00 - Roberto Osuna of the Toronto Blue Jays closes the night with a guided meditation*
21:15 - Docking: Blimp Rock Live is over
In their 2015 playoff run, the Jays used the slogan #ComeTogether. In 2012, we wrote a song called “Oh Baseball” about the Toronto Blue Jays and in the chorus of the song we sung “And the people / They Come Together”. We assumed this meant that we were the first registered company to attach the words “Come Together” to the Blue Jays so we sent the team an e-mail requesting $700K in royalties. Jays fans were not happy.
Contrary to popular belief, blimp travel has become much safer since the days of the blimp that shall not be named. In fact, in the last 70 years there have been only 17 blimp related accidents - and just one explosion!
In late 2016, Phil started a service where he would name your band for $35. Being a band/company, we had been looking for a sound investment to make up for a lack of vintage office supply sales. We sent Phil an e-mail expressing our interest in “buying out” his service and he agreed to the price of $200 USD. After the deal, Phil changed the name of his service to “Blimp Rock Enterprises Presents: Band Naming Services” and tweeted a haiku about the deal.